How I shook Swine Flu (I think)

Let me not speak too soon, but last Friday, I was feeling--how you say--like shit. Achy, shaky, swollen glands and weak. Here's what worked for me.

First, I drank water. Then a lot of hot tea (green in the morning, something herbal at night).

Then I took this:
My friend Vani told me this is from France and the French have the best medicine in the world. She was right, it's the #1 flu medicine of Francs. I told her that Larry Gordon has been trying to make me take this for years, at the first sign of a throat tickle. This time, I spent $15.99 on the stuff because I was really scared I got the swine.

I took 2 doses. After the first, I felt no change. After the second, I felt considerably better.

Then I got sleep, no less than 8.5 hours every night for at least four nights. And finally, I took this echinacea with golden seal for three days, twice a day:

Some things I avoided:
dairy
sugar
Alcohol (in excess)*
Fried food**

*i had to drink two beers on Saturday for the Gator game because I'd made a $25 donation to the all-you-can-drink Gator club, and it was, ahem, all-you-can-drink. Also, Wolison and I made hot apple cider with rum one day.

**except for that basket of free french fries I ate half of, and the fish taco the next day at the Brooklyn Flea, where I saw Martha Stewart in the flesh.

But I digress. Warm liquids, lots of sleep, some oscillo and echinacea with golden seal, and knock on wood one more time, I feel completely fine.

Oven Quickie: Baked Sweet Potato Spears

Peel two sweet potatoes, cut them length-wise and arrange on a baking sheet lined with tin foil. Drizzle olive oil, salt to taste. Bake at 425 for 20-25 minutes. Halfway through baking, flip them and rearrange.

Bring it to the next level with a dipping sauce of plain yogurt, dried dill and black pepper.

Bad news for soda drinkers

I heard this news story in a drowsy haze at 5:30 am this morning on NPR:

"This study that we did with UCLA showed that regardless of income or ethnicity, adults who drink one or more soda a day are 27 percent more likely to be overweight or obese," Goldstein says.

One or more. That means one. So you can bet I jumped out of my skivvies and into a mad rage at soda manufacturers for making this country obese. Now--this article does not address diet soda, but I think we all know how I feel about sugar substitutes (hint: I loathe them).

As alternative, I LOVE Fizzy Izze. They are refreshing, bubbly and have no artificial sweeteners (only sweetened with fruit juice). I think the grapefruit is my favorite.


And if there's no Izze in the house and I'm feeling really zany, I'll mix three parts club soda to one part grape, apple or (Esther's creation) grape+orange juices.

Add vodka for a real treat. But not at work. Unless you work where I work.

Sardiney Pasta

Here's something you can make when you have almost nothing in the fridge, AND when you're watching the Gator Game at home alone on a Saturday night.

Sardiny pasta:



Don't give me that face, Sardines are so good for you. To quote this article, which quotes a different article: "In a 1984 issue of the Town & Country magazine, James Villas wrote an article entitled 'The Unsung Sardine' in which he said that 'ounce for ounce, sardines provide more calcium and phosphorus than milk, more protein than steak, more potassium than bananas, and more iron than cooked spinach.'"

I'll often toast a piece of rye bread, open a can of sardines and put them together with tons of lemon juice and thinly sliced onions. But this pasta is my newest creation. Here's what's in it:

1 can of bonesless, skinless sardines in olive oil
1 tablespoon olive oil
2 large tomatoes diced
1-2 cloves garlic chopped
1/4 cup of red wine (optional)
the juice of half a lemon
black pepper to taste
Salt to taste
1/4 cup water
1/8 cup of bread crumbs (eyeball it)
8-10 Kalamata olives chopped
Parmesan cheese
Half a box of angel hair or linguini*

*For optimum health, make it whole wheat or quinoa. But as I mentioned above, I was home alone on a Saturday night watching a Gator game. Alone. So I went for the full-on, enriched, WHITE pasta. I'm not proud.

First, boil the pasta in a large pot. While pasta is cooking, heat olive oil over medium-high heat in a medium saucepan. Throw in the garlic, let it sizzle, but not burn for about 3 minutes.

Add tomatoes and let them cook for about 10 minutes, stirring often. Add the red wine (aw yeah). Let it cook about 4-5 more minutes. If the tomatoes start to stick to the bottom, add the water. Let it all simmer until you get something resembling a sauce. It doesn't have to be super liquidy, just so that the tomatoes are stewed. Add salt and pepper.

Next, open the can of sardines and break them up into the sauce. If some of the oil gets in, that's fine. Fold the sauce to heat the fish. Throw in the olives, bread crumbs and about a palmful of Parmesan. Toss everything until its heated.

By now, your pasta should be cooked. Drain, rinse it, add a little olive oil and toss it with the sauce. Put lemon juice on top and make sure the sauce gets all through the pasta. Plate it, add some more Parmesan to the top, and Voila! A pasta dish packed with protein.

Have something minty for dessert.

Ask Esther: Tofu/Cancer Link?

Mum, what's the link between the soy in tofu and breast cancer?
E: "You should look on the Web under 'soy beans.' It's very interesting."

OK, can you give me anything more?
E: "Most soy beans are...what do you call that? ...chemically...what's the word? I don't remember. Don't ask Esther on that one."

(enter Larry in the background) "GENETICALLY MODIFIED!" (Larry talks in all caps, all the time)

E: "Oh yeah, genetically modified."

L: "BECAUSE SOY INCREASES ESTROGEN RECEPTORS!"

E: "Yeah, too much estrogen leads to breast cancer."

L: "JUST DON'T OVERDO IT!"

Why is tempeh better than tofu?
E:"Tempeh is better because it's fermented soy and it digests better." (It's also less processed.)
.
L: "SEITAN IS ALSO VERY GOOD!" (no, it isn't). "IT'S A WHEAT ALTERNATIVE! IT'S A VERY GOOD ALTERNATIVE FOR ANYONE WHO IS VEGETARIAN IF THEY'RE NOT ALLERGIC TO WHEAT! IT TASTES LIKE STEAK!" (no, it doesn't.)

What about Edamame (soybeans)?
E: "Yeah, they're ok." (Caution: this is an uneducated guess)

L: "TOFU IS OK AS LONG AS YOU DON'T EAT IT ON A REGULAR BASIS! EAT TOFU IN MODERATION!"

I think the lesson here is to limit all soy, including soy milk, soy beans and tofu. It doesn't mean never eat it, just keep it on light rotation. I got a yummy, pre-seasoned tofu from TJ's the other day, and put it in a stir fry with broccoli, carrots and cauliflower--all over brown rice. Easy and satisfying.

Something to Bragg about.

BaHaHa hahah...did you get that? Bragg? HA!

This product--Bragg Liquid Aminos--has been used in my family for generations and I invite you to use it in yours. Lemme tell y'all--it tastes almost EXACTLY like soy sauce, and perfectly salts up almost any recipe. Really, there's no weird aftertaste. I use it in stir frys, greens, with beans and sometimes I get real crazy and dip sushi in it.

Why would you replace soy sauce with Amino Acids? First of all, Amino Acids are critical to life, people. I read it on wikipedia, so it must be true. Also, the FAQ section of Bragg's website says:

"Amino Acids are the building blocks of all our organs and tissues. They are also the building blocks from which different food proteins are constructed. When we eat a protein food, such as meat or soybeans, the natural hydrochloric acid in the stomach digests the protein, releasing the Amino Acids. They are the link between the food we eat and assimilation for our body tissue. Lack of adequate Amino Acids may make it impossible for the vitamins and minerals to perform their specific duties."

They help you ABSORB nutrients! And if all that wasn't enough to convince you fat-content-watchers, Bragg Amino Acids has 0 grams of fat. Buleeve it.

[Ed's note:] You can't find this at Trader Joe's (i've tried)--you'll have to go to Whole Foods or your local health food store, but it will be worth it.

Food from my homeland.

I visited Palm Beach Gardens this weekend and had a great time!

And while I'm not complaining, I'd like to state that on my first night home in six months, here's what was for dinner:

A. it was leftovers
B. my dad made it
C. the day before

From L-R, that's leftover French lentils, leftover Basmati rice and a leftover concoction I like to call "everything-but-the-50-inch-TV-screen Tempeh." If you ask what's in it, it's a little different every time, but the basis of the dish is Tempeh sauteed in coconut oil, kale (naturally), garlic, fresh ginger, Braggs Amino Acids, dry Sherry, Basil, Oregano, and anything else my dad can find in the spice cabinet. Truthfully, it tastes better than it looks, and I'd be happy to get you the somewhat exact recipe if you so desire.

After celebrating the head of the Jewish New Year at a cousin's with Sun-dried tomato brisket (yes, I ate it and yes, it was damn good), and having one too many Vodka-cranapples ('one too many' being one), I got to meet this little Brazilian cutie:

Only four months old, and a full head of perfectly-styled side part. I think he has a future in Brooklyn.

Then, on Saturday night, Esther redeemed herself with...

Mini Soufflés!!

Basically, these are mini baked omelets with leeks, mushrooms, peas, fresh Basil and feta, courtesy of Ivy Larson (who babysat me as a wee child). Recipe here (scroll down to find it). Tomatoes on top were a Gordon addition.

Almost as adorable and yummy as those pulkes above.

Stay tuned for more items from the Gordon Fridge of Life...