Artichokes are for Lovers

In honor of V-day, let's jump right into a plant with many layers of complicated, tough outer leaves which reveal a fuzzy, tender heart at its center. One might say this perennial thistle is a metaphor for the woman in all of us. And what better time to use a cliché metaphor than on Valentine’s Day?

If you haven't eaten an entire artichoke before, that's what you do. Peel off a leaf, turn it over so the soft part is parallel to your bottom teeth and scrape off the meat. So artichokes aren't technically an aphrodisiac, but if you're repeating this action several times on Feb. 14th, my guess is that your partner will get the idea. And not only are they S-E-X-Y, but artichokes aid in digestion, strengthen the liver and gall bladder. What's sexier than a healthy gall bladder?


The best choke I ever ate was at a restaurant in Williamsburg (Moto) where they steamed it--I think in lemon juice--so that it was limp, lifeless and tender, and served with saffron mayonnaise. Yep, that was the same night I was aggressively accosted on the dance floor at The Woods, but you see? Artichokes almost act as love cologne.

Below is NOT the same recipe from Moto, but here’s how I make artichokes. (It's still prettah good.)

Ingredients:

1 artichoke per person
per choke:
2 tablespoons of olive oil
1/8 cup breadcrumbs
few shakes of Parmesan cheese
juice of 1/2 a lemon
enough boiling water to submerge the choke


Step one: cut off the stem of the artichoke, leaving about a half inch at the bottom. Then cut off the tip of the V (giving it kind of a flat top look and revealing some of the inner layers.) Then go through and cut the stickers out of the rest of the outer leaves (holding my knife diagonally to the choke). Separate and rinse through the leaves as best you can.




Step two: Submerge in boiling water or steamer and steam for 30-40 minutes. Check periodically. If you can peel off a leave easily and the meat is tender, it's done.

Step three: Remove from boiling water. Place in an oven-safe dish or baking pan (however it can stay upright). Separate the steaming leaves a little more and drizzle olive oil. Sprinkle bread crumbs, sprinkle Parmesan cheese (eyeball all this, but try to get a little bit between each layer).



Step four: Place in oven set to 350 degrees. Bake for about 15 minutes

Step five: Remove, sprinkle lemon juice over everything.

Once you've peeled and scraped all the leaves, you get to the heart (the best part). Trim off all the fuzz and dip it in the leftover olive oil/breadcrumb/Parmesan that's leftover in your dish.

If your hands aren't covered in olive oil and Parmesan, then you're probably not that fun to hang out with and you don't deserve a Valentine. Hmph.